Great Poem - unknown author

A friend of mine sent this to me and wanted to share it.

Beautiful Christian Sister

'A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ
That a man should have to seek Him first to find her.'

When I say.... 'I am a Christian' I'm not shouting 'I'm clean living,'
I'm whispering 'I was lost, Now I'm found and forgiven.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I don't speak of this with pride.

I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say.... 'I am a Christian' I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.

When I say.. 'I am a Christian' I'm not bragging of success..
I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not claiming to be perfect,

My flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I still feel the sting of pain...
I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not holier than thou,

I'm just a simple sinner Who received God's good grace, somehow!

Just What I Needed

I don't know if this has ever happened to you, but I'll be the first to openly admit, that this past Sunday while listening to a great message, I got distracted. I know that is hard to believe, but it happened. A verse caught my attention in Galatians 1, that I really needed to see.

Verse 10 says, "For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ."

I have struggled and struggled with my confidence with my Spanish. A huge stumbling block for me has been what people are saying. How they compare me to others and their ability. I believe this is difficult for anyone to hear over and over again. However, clearly I am looking for the approval of men, who am I trying to persuade and/or please, men or God?

Then I remembered other verses that God showed me several months back. When Moses was basically questioning God about his ability (or lack of) to speak to the nation of Israel. God firmly asked him, Moses,
Exo 4:2 And the LORD said unto him, What is that in thine hand? And he said, A rod.

God constantly needs to remind me that I have somewhat of an ability. I have something in my hand. But, my response over and over again... is much like Moses....

Exo 4:10 And Moses said unto the LORD, O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither heretofore, nor since thou hast spoken unto thy servant: but I am slow of speech, and of a slow tongue.

And God says, my I remind you, Keeley

Exo 4:11 And the LORD said unto him, Who hath made man's mouth? or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? have not I the LORD?
Exo 4:12 Now therefore go, and I will be with thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say.

God says to me: Now go, Keeley. You worry about pleasing me, not men and use what you have in your hand!

Your being so Nit-picky!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We have come to understand the term nit-picky very well. I never knew before our experience with lice it's origin. Nits are the little eggs that hatch into lice. Hence the term nit picking. Wowee those little guys are hard to get out.

We have a very regimented routine to try to eradicate those little guys.
Every morning I strip the sheets, and put them in a black trash bag and put them in the hot sun. Every other day I wash them. When the girls get home from school, at the front door (no worries, inside) they strip down and I put their uniforms in a black trash bag and into the hot sun also. For their rest time they either sleep on new sheets or I take off the mattress and let them sleep on the frame. Which by the way most people sleep on this here because it's cooler. It's kind of a woven material. Anyway....if they sleep on sheets then I strip those and put new ones on. After their rest time, they watch a video while we check their hair. It takes all of the video to get everything. We wash their hair with tea tree oil in the shampoo. We have tried EVERYTHING!!!!!! We have even tried a Mayonaise treatment. We were so beautiful. I say we, because yes, I have had the pleasure of having it as well. Everything we have read has said it is a hard battle to beat. They couldn't be more right.

Like with all things, there is always good. In spite of all the extra work that this brings, it has also brought lots of sweet things. We get to spend time every day in close quarters with our girls. They love to watch movies and this way we can watch with them and talk about the things in the movie as it happens. I have always read that it is good to touch your kids. Well, they are getting lots in this hour and a half or so. I bet years from now they will look back fondly on this time, because of the time spent together.

And like with all things, there is always a spiritual side. I was thinking about how much work it takes to stay on top of this issue. When I took the picture of Ryan and Avigail, I thought about how often we should and need to sit at the feet of Jesus and just let him work on our hearts, and our issues. You have to be very intentional to get rid of lice. And you have to be very intentional to work on or let God work on the heart issues and the sin issues in our life. You have to show up and allow Him the time it takes to reveal the problems spots in order for Him to take it out.

Hopefully some day soon, we will be able to say that we beat this battle. But there is always maintenance required in order to keep those critters away. Just like there is maintenance required in our spiritual lives.

Estersita!

I can not tell you how many times I have been asked if this little girl (Estersita, Esther) is our daughter. With her blond hair, everyone thinks that she is ours. She is actually the daughter of Ramiro and Eugenia Claros, one of the pastors at the church. Our girls just love Ester. She is so sweet to our girls as well.

I want that, yes, that right there! Yesterday would be fine!

Have you ever wanted something so bad... (and as they say) that you could almost taste it! Maybe it's changing your spiritual condition, or maybe being out of debt, or maybe your body style. All of these things require being intentional and disciplined to change them. And they don't come overnight. Well, I feel this way about learning to speak spanish. I want it so bad. I want to be able to speak well right now!

Many other missionaries that have been on the field for many years have said that being able to speak well does not happen for about 4 years and fluency does not come for 10 to 15 years. Wowee!

I am in the process of learning how to be patient and content with where I am at. So as I wait, I am doing all things that I should be. I am being intentional to read, speak, write in Spanish. It will come... or the Lord will come back!!!! Then I'll be able to speak, or it will not matter anymore.

Our House,,, is a very fine house...."

We are so blessed to be finally in our house. I think I have gotten all but 2 suitcases unpacked and we are pretty much settled. There is still a lot of things that we need to buy, but we have to pace ourselves a little bit.

One thing that has been interesting, is that we had our dining table made and it was much cheaper than it would be to buy in the stores. In the states is is always more expensive to have something made by hand, but here usually it is the opposite. So we are actually going to have quite a bit of things made. We will end up spending much less doing it this way. It's actually kind of fun, because I'm going to have a headboard and bedside tables made and it will be just like I want it.

The girls are loving the house. There is a lot of area for them to play, not only inside but outside as well. They just play and play for hours. We have cows right behind our house and I think they have named a couple of them. They scream and wince every time the cows go to potty. Such city girls huh? Maybe that will wear off some day.

One down side to this area is scorpions! I have killed 2 so far, one in the girls room. Yikes! The bugs here are plentiful and interesting. There are lots of types of bugs that I have never seen before.

Overall, we are LOVING our new home. And now we are excited about getting out of the house to talk and build relationships.

Candy Land Anyone?

We have been playing a great deal of Candy Land in the last month. I'm so glad we brought it, it almost did make the cut. It was a last minute decision, actually as we were walking out the door for the airport I made the decision to stuff it in. We have certainly used it this last month. The kids here love it.

One day the girls and I were playing and Chester, one of the dogs here, was jealous, or wanted to play, but just laid down right in the middle of things. So needless to say that particular game was over. Chester won!

Our School Girls

Aren't they so cute in their uniforms????? Oh my goodness I just want to squeeze their little cheeks.

The girls have done really well going to school and adjusting to their new routine. We have had just a little bit of tears from Ella, but overall it is so much better than our transition in Costa Rica. I am certain that it helps that they are only at school for a total of 3 hours.

I don't know if you are able to see it or not, but we received a wonderful gift we think from school. Look real close at their hair. Yup, that's right, lice! We did our first treatment tonight and hopeful we got it all. Everyone here was very casual about it, because it happens every year when school starts. I wasn't feeling very casual about it at first. Yuck! That's just gross! Oh well, there's much worse things, huh?

Sweet Sleeping Girls

I don't know if you are able to see this picture very well or not. I didn't want to the use the flash because the girls were sleeping. They are sleeping in the same bed while we are staying at Alvin and Ninfa's house. Obviously it is very SWEET to watch them sleep together.

Just Waiting

We are patiently waiting for our house to be ready to move into. We are SO blessed to be staying at the house of a great family in the church. However, we are very ready to have our own space. We have been told that our house will be ready in 2 weeks. I'm secretly hoping it will be sooner.

God knew what we needed when He opened the door to stay with Alvin and Ninfa. We have lots opportunities to be around people. So that allows for more talking. In this time of adjusting, it is easy maybe to close yourself in a room and not talk to anybody, because of not understanding what people are saying and them not understanding what I am saying, but we have lots of opportunities to see people all day.

We have been blessed with the girls having Paola, 10 year old daughter of Alvin and Ninfa, and 2 dogs to play with during the day.

We have been blessed with lots of help. People have been very generous with their time to help us get things set up here. There is a lot involved in setting up life in a new place, must less a new country.

Little Ella

Little Ella is not so little... Even to now she seems so much bigger than in this picture.

Ella has a great sense of humor, generous and very emotional in both directions.

Just Being Real

There is such a mixture of emotions rolling around in my world right now. I'm excited about new opportunties in ministry, knowing new people, continuing my learning process (in so many ways). However, I'm overwhelmed with having to say goodbye again. I know so well from previous moves that I will be just fine and will be blessed again with new relationships. It's just hard to convince my heart right now that things will be okay.

I have been discipling Jonesí for 6 or 7 months. Obviously during this process we have become really close. I have been blessed to be her confidant in many areas of her life. She has gone through and is going through some very hard times. God really wants to be first in her life so He has shaken things up in her life.

We have been going through the Direcciones (Directions) material and we are only about half way through it. She does not have a local church yet. She has visited several churches and wants to visit 2 more before making her decision. She understands clearly the importance of having a local church to attend and really wants it. Please pray that she will find a good bible teaching church. Please pray for our hearts as we say goodbye.

Sleep??? What's that???

I don't know if any of you remember before we left for Costa Rica we were having some serious problems with Ella sleeping at night. She was just riddled with fear.

If you remember Ryan and I made a discovery trip to Costa Rica 3 Octobers ago, without the girls. Well to say the least this was a pretty hard time for our little girls. Now we are finding out how traumatic it was especially for little Ella.

In Kansas City we finally figured out that she was afraid we were going to leave her. When she saw the suitcases, and talked of going a trip she was thinking that we were leaving her again. Once we figured this out, a couple times a day we explained in great detail our plan to get on the plane together and we were all going to Costa Rica. Well let's just say we got through it.

Interestingly enough, (interesting is an interesting word...) we are in the exact position again with our move to El Salvador. Ella, poor thing, is again riddled with fear during the day. Loud noises just about due her in (motorcycles, thunder, car alarms, buses). She doesn't like to be left in a room by herself. And she is genuinely scared at night before going to sleep. I always vowed that I would not lay down with my kids until they fell asleep on a regular basis, because I didn't want to create a dependency. But here we are again! She is so afraid and just screams when we leave the room. She will wake in the middle of the night scared and wants me with her. And sometimes it takes awhile to get her back to sleep.

Wowee what a hard stage. We will get through it just like we did the last time, but I kind of miss my 8 hours of beauty sleep. We were doing so well sleeping at night since we graduated from language school (that's another story all together).

Who turned the Lights Out???? (who, who)

We frequently have the power go out here and it is truly amazing to me how well the girls do with it (now). The evening power outages were a little rough at first but we have worked through a lot of that. For some strange reason kids don't like the dark...hhmmmm? Now it is as though we don't even skip a beat. I have matches in a place where I can easily find in the dark right by some candles. After lighting a couple I go find the girls very own flashlights, NOW it is fun for them.

Anyone who knows me knows I love candles. Here we have candles in every room, but here they are not just for decoration. In the states, candles are for decoration and for fragrance, however, here they are all of those things but also a necessity. Whoohoooo!

The lady that lived in our house before we moved in left a lot of candles and candle holders. She did something that I thought was a great idea that I will pass along. Have you had candles that decoratively were great but you knew as soon as you burned them they would spill wax over everything? Well here's an idea that can even preserve the shape of the pretty candle and save the furniture from being covered in wax. She took square or round decorative candles and burned them enough to melt a hole big enough for a tea light candle to fit inside. So she would just replace the tea lights everytime instead of burning down these beautiful decorative candles. Great idea huh?

Avigail's Teeth

I would say the loss of this set of teeth was not as monumental as the first ones, but it still is very exciting. Avigail nursed the loss of the first one and then I won the award for best mom of the month with the other tooth. A couple days after Avigail took out her tooth, we were playing and my shoulder hit her mouth and out popped her tooth. And I mean popped out! You can see the video of the loss of the first one below. She is getting so big!

Holding Tight to God's Hand

Lately I have been fascinated by how Ella holds my hand when we are walking. I mean she really holds it! When we are walking on the street, or walking somewhere she is obviously not very comfortable, or sometimes just in our house she will actually take her other and push my hand harder around hers. And sometimes say, "tighter mommy". If I have a itch on my nose and my other hand is not available I try to release my hand from the clutches of this cute little girl, but she won't let go, she holds tighter. I have to explain, "sweety, I have an itch, I need to let go for just a second." Only then will she let go.

If only I would hold God's hand this tight! One thing that I have noticed while holding either my girls hands, I am able to guide them quite easily as long as they are listening (with my tugs, or squeezes). They have gotten really good at following commands through hand squeezes. Another thing I am able to do, is detect when they are falling and pull my arm up to keep them from falling completely. I'm sure all parents are familar with that action. Those are all good reasons for me to hold tight to God's hand...

See God in Everything

I was reading an entry from Streams in the Desert and in my current struggles came across something that I obviously needed.

"See God in everything and God will calm and color all that thou dost see! It may be that the circumstances of our sorrows will not be removed, their condition will remain unchanged; but if Christ, as Lord and Master of our life, is brought into our grief and gloom, He will compass us about with songs of deliverance. To see Him, and to be sure that His wisdom cannot err, His power cannot fail, His love can never change; to know that even His direst dealings with us are for our deepest spiritual gain, is to be able to say, in the midst of bereavement, sorrow, pain and loss, 'The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.'"

I have been really having a hard time with my friends being gone. And really missing the fellowship that school brought in our lives. But, I was reminded when I read this that God IS in everything; I just need to look for Him.
Job 1:21 ... the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; (and most importantly, STILL) blessed be the name of the LORD.

My Family

What a gift to have such a picture! I don't remember a time when I have had a picture with my siblings and mom.

We visited my family in Colorado this August. And were able to have family pictures taken. I feel so blessed to have such an awesome family.

Spoons anyone????

We just started our first week of school in our last trimester of language school. We never know who we will get for a teacher and for obvious reasons we (or I) worry about getting one verses the other. When I found out who I had for teachers I was very excited. My language teacher is named Alejandra and my grammar teacher is named Jonesi. Well my first day in Language was very interesting. The teacher introduced herself and told us a little about herself. And then said okay let's go outside, so we follow her to the kitchen where she got four spoons and a glass of water. She said okay we are going to play a game. She handed each of us a spoon and she put water in the spoon and told us to put the back end of the spoon in our mouth. Then we were to walk down the sidewalk trying not to spill the water.... I was first and was so impressed with myself and how I didn't spill one drop and how balanced and athletic I am...But in the back of my mind I was thinking what in the world does this have to do with learning spanish? I would quickly find out that it had everything to do with learning spanish or at least the experience or process of learning Spanish. And there was no room for my being soooo proud of myself.

We all went back to the classroom and she asked what we thought of the activity. She asked if we thought it was a race or competition. There were varying responses from everyone. Then she asked while you were walking, did you notice the little bird that was hopping around on the ground? Did you notice the color of the flowers on the path? Do you remember who was in front or behind you? Oh my goodness! No, no, no and no! Shame on me! She went on to say this is how most students look at their year here in this school, only noticing what is in their spoon. Giving no thought whatsoever to what is happening around them.

I have been so guilty of being so focused on my spanish and learning that I haven't taken time to enjoy all the things that are in my path, while they are in my path. I have been so humbled by this exercise. I was immediately impressed with the teacher and her approach to teaching. It was a great lesson for me to not be overly focused on what is in front of me, missing all the other things that are there.

Coincidence??

One of my favorite things about our house is our little garden in the back of our house. It is really tiny but just perfect for us. We have a fountain, wind chime and a hummingbird feeder. I love sitting and listening to the water trickling in the fountain, and when there is a breeze listening to the wind chime and watching the hummingbird's eat from the feeder.

We have learned that hummingbird's are very territorial. So most likely the bird or birds we have in our yard are the same one's day after day. One morning I was reading my Bible by the window that looks outside into the garden and I saw a hummingbird hovering around the feeder, but there wasn't any food (which I will explain why later). Whether planned or not, I don't know...the hummingbird flew to the edge of the window and landed. With it's long beak taps on the window. I have no idea if this little guy was trying to tell me something...but I got up and filled the feeder.

Our feeder drains rather quickly lately because we have had bats discover the sweet nectar. That's right bats!!!! If I leave the feeder out over night it will be drained by morning. One night we were sitting in the living room and there must have been 5 or 6 bats flying in our backyard. Yikes!!!! I have to remember to bring in the feeder before the sun goes down or I have to reach outside when they could be possibly flying around. Oh wow...that is truly enough motivation to get before the sun goes down.